If you know me, like actually know me, you might say that I love to talk. In a big crowd, a stranger might see me and think that I was a quiet wallflower. (Some people might say I appear unfriendly and detached, that’s a topic for another day!) To be honest, the combination of the two characteristics might make blogging a great hobby for people like me. So, here goes…
We all know that journaling is a great way to relieve ourselves of overbearing emotions, to brainstorm interesting ideas, or to kill time with something semi-productive. But, who actually has a consistent journaling practice? I write a lot, if we leave ‘a lot’ undefined, where some days I can write up to 20 pages and other times I will go 20 days without having written one word. And just like any other normal human, my head is full of talking thoughts and the occasional (FREQUENT) screaming thought. We are always stimulated by some neuronal firing that can easily distract us from what’s important if we are not in full control.
Well, let’s get it out first, learn by expression, and find lessons in the experiences of others. We have a need for connection and communication is the best way for that to happen. That’s why I am writing here to share my experience with hope that you all share back. I love talking, remember? Yes, okay, I know, every flashbulb moment does not need to be shared. I mean, how many times do we find people oversharing especially on social media? While we may scroll past with a judgmental eye, this happening is a clear indication that the cups of people’s minds are overflowing.
Let me tell you, that my mental cup and all 38 imaginary cups were overflowing and simultaneously refilling themselves when I first found out that I was pregnant! This anxiety contaminated my mind, body and spirit for three months. At times, I felt like this was just the hormonal result of my first trimester. However, things began to clear up when I regained power over my mind only with the help of God because my departure from Him is in-fact what lead me into this place. While I am extremely blessed to have a body healthy enough to provide life and look forward to experiencing the joys of motherhood after my little best friend makes her arrival, the specifics of my situation are less than desirable.
All in all, God has a purpose or many for this experience. One of these, I believe, was this blog not because blogs are some panacea for those who need a voice but because I have overcome shame and am ready to share my testimony. In case I haven’t made it clear, this blog will tend around my journey through pregnancy and how finding God–although He was never lost, it was I–has been the most important part of learning how to cope with unexpected circumstances. My fresh relationship with God has also fueled new foundations of faith that I believe will help me as a new and single mother. Plus, as I learn tips, find new remedies, and cool new baby or mommy gear, I will be sure to share it all here. Hint: I’d really love to hear any advice!
Next week, we are going to get into the details of my first trimester including the events that led up to me getting pregnant, the consequences of living in anxiety, and what saved my peace.
Thanks for getting this far and joining me on this journey into mommy-hood. I appreciate you much and look forward to finally opening up about the things that go on behind the scenes.
2 Corinthians 3:16
“But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.”