It’s been a year since I was baptized.
This is a significant landmark in my testimony because I knew my heart had to be in the right place for something so significant. I’d never been baptized before because I wasn’t ready for the commitment.
Commitment is a tough one. In the past, I had a hard time committing to my relationships with family and friends, to my promises, to my talents and passions, to life goals. All around, through and through I was uncommitted before my come to Jesus moment. What’s the opposite of commitment? It was me! The thesaurus actually lists some words as antonyms of commitment: inconstancy, infidelity, faithlessness.
Faithlessness is a good word to sum it up. Being faithless is a lot like being purposeless, nothing seems worth it, meeting expectations is pointless, and you end up in circles of doing nothing because nothing matters. So, I was flaky and ditched my commitments because I was faithless. And it showed, how could anyone have faith in me if I, myself, did not have faith?
Unbelieving in God lead me to nowhere and nothingness, a very dark moment in my story. Depression is when nihilism takes center stage in a person’s soul. ironic though, depression is when a lack of faith is the only thing the person has faith in.
But a point came where I was so low, the only thing I could do was have faith. Slowly but surely, faith grew in my heart and having faith grew me, too. I became a faithful person, who didn’t give up on everything anymore. I was able to put my trust in the Lord and in turn, I’d grow into a more trustworthy person.
Hebrews 11:1-6, emphasis mine
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 4 By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead. 5 By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
How I see it is that faith in The Father gave me purpose and a desire to commit to Him. My broken promises were a reflection of my brokenness. But God makes us whole and He changed me. Frankly, He gave me the ability to commit to doing good things. Good things that have return, that build His Kingdom, that give us a new understanding of life.
Oh! That’s where I was going with all of this. It has been a year of blogging, blogging about Jesus. I actually started this blog Harvesting Hope within 24 hours of committing to Jesus at my baptism.
The purpose was to share with readers how I was learning to harvest hope from the source, Jesus. He planted hope, He made hope grow (whispering, especially when I wasn’t watching) and He decided I was good enough to harvest His hope.
Like crops, hope is to be collected, prepared and consumed. Because hope is not “easy to come by.” That’s why so many people are anxious and depressed today. Hope in anything but the Lord is empty. Yet, there’s no empty hole that Jesus cannot fill.
HE IS WHERE FAITH, COMMITMENT AND HOPE ARE FOUND.
It’s like finding the bottomless pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. First, I had to have faith that the rainbow actually led somewhere. Then, I had to commit to finding it. And as I started walking towards the horizon, I was granted the ever-fulfilling hope. Found out that they misspelled gold, too! It’s actually G-O-D.
Just looking back at the way life has turned around more in this last year than all of my life has reminded me how much hope there is still to be harvested.
Here’s to another year of blogging, hopefully it’ll be even more purposeful. Thanks for joining me and encouraging my commitments! Encouragement is a close friend of hope, just as you all have been to me.